Have you ever done any kind of cleanse, diet or fasting regime? I’m guessing if you’re a human being walking this earth, you have.

Well, get ready to laugh along with me or at me (I’ll never know which one it is, so go for it).

I’ve been on a 22 day program to reset my metabolism, because I “suddenly” woke up one day to realize that my waist was expanding out in all directions. I can’t blame this on the Coronavirus Indoor Eating Plan: my love of doing nothing coupled with my love of carbohydrates in the form of potatoes and bread has been a lifelong love affair.

As a half Irish, half Italian/Croatian mix, bread, pasta and potatoes are my religion!! I was never in danger of being too skinny. The only difference is that in my youth I kept the fat at bay with cigarettes and excessive worrying—that’s a real fat burner if ever I came across one.

So, what does a health conscious and determined type A individual with a slight OCD bent on self-improvement do about it?

Dive into a 3 week tug of war with will power, discipline and misery. What better way to make social distancing more fun?!

In the past 2 weeks, I’ve consumed no less than 16 disturbingly thick and filling smoothies, truck loads of vegetables cooked or eaten raw and plate after plate of salmon, tuna and halibut.

Before you think I’ve taken leave of my senses, just know that I’ve been a holistic nutritionist for 12 years. I’m not on a crazy diet that strips me of all nutrients and gives me hamburger hallucinations. I’m doing this the healthy way.

But here’s the rub: I am so irritable. The sameness of everyday is what gets me. Following a plan, even if its healthy brings out my inner rebel and inner child having a temper tantrum like no other time in history.

In the morning, I stomp around the kitchen, manhandling my blender like it is to blame for the grainy concoctions I have to consume. Then I grumpily go for my 10,000 step walk which usually turns into 2-3 walks because I keep going home to use the bathroom.

Then each night I mutter curses under my breath as I run the bath and sit in the tub for my obligatory Epsom salt immersion to release the toxins.

I blurt out at every chance I get: Why did I ever start this stupid thing?!  

At the time of writing this I have 7 more torturous days to bang out. I have 7 more days of mountainous vegetable plates, protein packing with the occasional carb days and day after day of grinding out enough steps to make it all worthwhile.

Ugh.

You might be asking, why doesn’t she just stop? The very idea of not finishing something I’ve started is laughable. I’m the kind of person who has to finish something even if it’s the worst show, book or movie I’ve ever laid eyes on. I must see it through to the end.

The wisdom from my protein soaked brain is this: sometimes we have to do something to shake things up. Sometimes we have to see ourselves through a process that is uncomfortable but worthwhile. Having a healthy body is worthwhile. Giving our body the chance to carry us around for as long as possible is worthwhile. I am happy I took this on and I’ll be very happy with the results.

The difference between myself back then and how I’m handling it now (with grumpy gracefulness) is that I love myself enough to improve. I’m not doing this out of a need for approval, fear of rejection or low self-esteem. I am ok with who I am, yet I know my body needs some support right now. I am ready to enhance the way I feel.

But nobody told my inner child she couldn’t complain, frown and stomp her way through this. I know in my heart of hearts at the end of this, she’ll be jumping for joy again.

What have you done for yourself that you knew was good but hated it the whole time? Share below!

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